Tonight’s thoughts from my desk …

The other night my daughter was terrified to go to sleep in her bedroom because she saw a spider. My daughter stood outside her bedroom in tears, sobbing uncontrollably because she didn’t know if the spider was still there. As I sternly raised my voice, and became more and more irritated by the fact that she wouldn’t go to bed … I had a sudden realization. I can only describe the moment as a light bulb … a flash … I was 10 again.

In that moment, I remembered sitting on my bedroom floor, rocking back and forth with tears streaming down my face; hyperventilating at the sound of my Dad’s belt snapping as he entered my room. When I was 10, I was afraid of my own shadow; also the dark, dying in my sleep, of the Unsolved Mysteries TV host, that someone might break into our house, the sounds coming from the basement, the picture of Elvis Presley at the bottom of the basement stairs (which to this day I am convinced that picture was possessed by a ghost) AND …. my list goes on.

In that light bulb moment, I realized I have been gifted my daughter as strength in my life. I immediately recognized that she serves a grandiose purpose. My daughter is a means in my adult life, to heal the childhood wounds of my past. The paralyzed wounds that I held on to so deeply, that in order to live a life of longevity … I must transmute them. I recognized that I must show her the ways I wished I was shown, when I was a child. I must teach her and love her the ways, I wish I was loved when I was a child.

I got up off the couch, went to her room and got her bed ready. With my daughter still crying uncontrollably; I laid down with her in bed. I said, “Mama is here. I’m going to lay here with you in bed. I will hold you, cuddle you and kiss you. I promise that you’re ok. I won’t leave this bed until you’re fast asleep, and I know that you’re safe.” 20 minutes later … she was snoring in my arms. In the morning, the first thing she said to me was, “Thank you Mom for cuddling me to sleep last night. I slept the best. I slept all night, and didn’t wake up once.” I smiled. I knew. I passed my test.

xoxo 💋 @scarlettangel777